Under Pressure

I’ve been thinking ~big shock there, eh?~ about myself ’cause I’m introspective and such, and I just kind of figured out I tend to crack under pressure. A lot.

Like every time I’ve ever cried is ’cause I coldn’t deal with the pressure. Maybe that’s why I’m so screwed up today. I mean I’ve been sad, but because I was cracking under pressure.

Crazy.

Really, like this year everybody is putting all this pressure on us ninth graders ’cause this is the year that counts and all that bloody stupid shit no one really wants to hear. Seriously has no one noticed how fucking pressurizing that buliding is when you have thirty people breathing down your neck to do well?

It’s actually rather like a pressure cooker.

And it sucks.

Believe it or no, I’m not easily motivated. I’m not lazy, but really what’s the point of working hard in school when I already have and understanding nearly equal to that of people like Ghandi. I’m pretty much too in-sync with the bloody universe to care much about such a petty thing as school.

If I could, I’d never work a day in an office of any kind. I’d rather make my way through life living off the land and selling stuff at crafts fairs.

I don’t know why anyone would expect someone like me to be able to concentrate in school. I’m too busy analyzing things and how people work, what your mind is trying to tell you, but you can’t decipher, stuff like that.

I’d rather sit outside and stare at a tree than learn about that tree.

Really, I never really get angry. I kinda accept my fate, and most people seem to get that.

Yeah, yeah. I know I was not like this two years ago or even two weeks ago, two hours ago. You know why? 

 THINGS HAPPEN.

Everything that happens to you changes you. EVER-Y-THING.

‘Cause everything leads to something. If you leave a comment, it could change the entire course of a day for either of us.

Now don’t start thinking that just ’cause I’ve completely accepted my fate, that I don’t have emotions. Who dosen’t? It’s human. It’s pretty much fate.

So yeah, I’ll crack under pressure, I’ll cry, I’ll laugh, I’ll get angry, I’ll want to kill someone, I’ll feel uplifted.

I’ll just accept that its happening.

….Haha, Changed you life!!….

Interesting Weekend…

What an interesting weekend.

Ok, first Jared Leto is man-pretty.

I mean, just look at him. He’s got guy-liner.He’s man-pretty and you know it. Ok, htere are many reasons why this weekend was interesting other than that though. I met my best-friend’s boyfriend, who is not man pretty or hot, ~unlike Cameron~ lol, jkjk, and he’s ok, he’s short and blond and listens to somewhat good music, I had a deep, introspective conversation with amanda while on the phone with said friend’s bf,  about fate and all that jazz ~Go jazz~. But, the most interesting thing that happend ~still on the phone with said bf~ was a caffine-induced-confession, which I think would be a cool band name. It was odd we started talking about things involving spiders, rain, handcuffs, chains, whips, chocolate sauce, and dog collars.

Long story short, Amanda will never look at me the same way again. ’Cause…5 out of…seven of those were my topics.

I swear if you are surprised…you probably should be ’cause pretty much no one knows that….odd.

And then today we were sleeping, and then went driving, and I was on the interstate, then we called Cameron, who didn’t answer, then Ricky-D, who did answer, then Cameron again and we were talking about our caffine induced confessions and he STILL won’t believe me. Grr with a scottish accent. So as some kind of proof,…well you know those chain-like metal dog collars? Guess what he’s getting for X-mas.

And now, boycotting KFC with Casey Calvert & Peta!!!